I’ve written thousands of pages of material around spirituality, abundance and entrepreneurship over the years.
Spirit tells me I have enough material on my computer’s hard drive right now for five lifetimes.
So why is it sitting on my hard drive, and not out there in the world?
I asked myself this question in meditation:
“I know that resisting putting out this material for people to see and read is absolutely your best idea right now, so …
“Why does it seem like such a good idea to continue sitting on this material?”
- “I don’t know what’s going to happen if I share it”
- “I don’t want to know what could happen if I share it”
So, I said, yes. You’re right.
No one knows what’s going to happen if we share it. We don’t know what’s going to happen five minutes from now, much less what’s going to happen if we share our writing with the world.
I also see you don’t want to know what could happen if we share it. That’s fine. Since there’s no way to know what could happen, why would you want to know? Why bother with idle speculation?
This resistance to sharing more of my writing reflects my relationship with uncertainty.
I flat-out hate uncertainty.
As I thought about how much I hate uncertainty, this thought came into my mind:
There is ONE thing that’s certain about sharing my writing with the world.
The odds are 99% that if I put it out there, at least one person will read it someday.
And maybe, just maybe, it could help them in some way, like:
- They could think, “Wow, I never thought of that. Maybe I can do what I feel called to do, too.”
- Something I’ve written could make them feel less alone, because someone else knows how they feel
- Something in it will inspire them to speak the first kind word they’ve said to their spouse (or their child, their employee, their dog) in a week
- They could feel inspired to start offering their gifts to the world, too.
- There are countless other possibilities, but these four are excellent reasons to start sharing more right now.
There is ONE thing that’s certain about continuing to resist sharing my writing with the world:
- NO ONE will get the help my work could give them
That thought made me burst into tears.
The idea that I was withholding something that could help someone filled me with shame and despair.
So, I rushed to reassure that tearful part of me, “I know that was never your intention. You are kindness and goodness itself – you would never knowingly withhold help from anyone.
“That is NOT what you have done.
“What you have done is protect yourself from the uncertainty you hate.
“Yet it’s important for you to see that the effect of what you have done is that people you –and only you – could have helped have had to live without that help. Until now.
“I see you’re grieving over all the wasted years, the wasted opportunities to be of service, the wasted potential – and, yes, that’s sad.
“Go ahead and feel that sadness and guilt and shame – knowing all that wasted time is over in the moment you realize the effect of your decision to share only a little bit of all you’ve written over the years.
“In that moment of realization, the pattern of sitting on the material, instead of sharing it, starts to dissolve.
“The tide is turning right now, energetically, and you will stop doing the old pattern because it begins to break up the moment you observe it – just as a particle changes when it is observed by quantum physicists. It is the same thing, because everything is energy.
“The particles of withholding love, help, awareness, insight and support are breaking up now and re-forming into willingness to share what you have to give in generous measure.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for inspiring me to write this down and share it on this blog.
And thank you, dear soul, for reading it.
If you would like to share your thoughts in the comment box below, I’d love it!