The #1 Way You Sabotage Yourself

When Sean turns six years old, he begs for piano lessons.

His father George agrees to hire a teacher on a trial basis for one month.

George listens in as Sean’s fingers touch the keys and slowly play “Chopsticks.”

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When Sean hits a sour note, his father winces. “Can’t even play ‘Chopsticks,’ George mutters to himself. “This will be a waste of money.”

The piano teacher, Mrs. Jones, tells Sean’s parents he had great potential. Sean’s mother Amy agrees to pay for her son’s lessons when George says he will fire Mrs. Jones after her month’s trial has ended.

—–>>> Flash forward to Sean at 18

“Dad, I’ve been accepted into Juilliard!” Sean whoops, waving the letter of acceptance at George.

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“What?! You can’t expect me to pay for that!” George roars.

“You don’t have to! I’ve been given a full scholarship, Dad – you don’t have to pay a dime!” Sean takes his father’s hands as if to lift him up and dance him around the room.

George stays glued to his seat. “What’s the matter with those Juilliard people?” he growls. “Since when do they give out scholarships to kids who can’t even play ‘Chopsticks’?”

—–>>> Flash forward to Sean at 36

“Dad, I just had to tell you the wonderful news!” Sean shouts into his phone. “My opera won the Pulitzer Prize!”

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“No way!” George snarls. “They must have really lowered their standards, giving out Pulitzers to kids who can’t play ‘Chopsticks.’”


What do you think about a father like George, who keeps throwing Sean’s youthful errors into his face?

Do you think George believes shaming Sean has spurred him to greater heights of accomplishment?

Do you think Sean would achieve less or more if he had his father’s encouragement and support?

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Do you talk to yourself the way George talks to Sean?

This is the #1 way you sabotage yourself

When you shame yourself, confidence and motivation jump out the window. Inspiration drains away. A part of you dies.

Do you think you would accomplish less or more if you stopped shaming yourself over mistakes you made five years ago – or five minutes ago?

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Would you like to stop shaming yourself now?

If so, say “Yes” out loud or in your heart now.

Inhale, taking a deep breath. Imagine pure white light filling the center of your mind, the center of your heart and the base of your spine.

Exhale, imagining the white light spreading out to fill your entire body, being, and field of consciousness.


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Please know that whatever you have been shaming yourself for … it’s not your fault.

You did the best you could with what you knew at the time.

No one can ask more of you than that.


Have you been able to break the habit of shaming yourself? I’d love to know how you did it! Please share your thoughts in the box below.


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