Why is it so hard to feel confident?

What’s so great about confidence, anyway?

Well, let’s see …

Confidence is sexy.

Confidence makes people want to be friends or romantic partners with you.

Confidence makes people want to hire you or buy your products or services.

Confidence helps you to get over the rough spots in life and keep going.

It helps you to create loving, supportive relationships with your loved ones.

Why is it so hard to develop confidence when it brings only good things your way?

It’s not like anyone is asking you to give up chocolate and eat nothing but Brussel sprouts. So, where does the resistance come from?

The fact is, part of you may think confidence is a terrible idea: your brain. It does everything it can to undermine your confidence.

Here’s the crazy bit:

Your brain does this because it loves you.

It believes that if you feel too confident, you’re going to do something dangerous and you will die.

Skydiving-filipe-dos-santos-mendes-2s5spoiwX88-unsplash

So, because your brain loves you and wants you to be safe, it brings up your old mistakes every time you want to start something new.

It makes you feel defeated before you start. It makes you so anxious about making the wrong move, or that it won’t work out, so you never make a move at all.

So, you stay stuck – right where your brain wants you.

Well, if that’s love, I’ll take spinach.

The good news is, you can start changing your brain’s behavior right now.

We’ll begin by getting clear about what confidence is, and what it is not, so your brain can see for itself that confidence might be a good idea, after all.

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Confidence is different from arrogance, which says “I’m better than you.”

Confidence says, “We all have strong points and weak points.”

It’s different from egotism, which says, “Me first!”

Confidence says, “How can I help?”

It’s different from foolhardiness, which says, “I know it’s crazy, but I want to do it anyway.”

Confidence says, “I’m 51 percent sure I can pull this off. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll handle it somehow.”

Arrogance, egotism, and foolhardiness all have their roots in fear.

Confidence is rooted in love.

Confidence can replace neediness or desperation with faith that all your needs will be met. Faith that whatever comes up, you can handle it. Faith that you are enough.

That faith gives you the emotional bandwidth to treat yourself and others with compassion.

To step into doing what you came here to do.

To shine your light in a world that needs you now, more than ever.

Confidence can help you to do all of that, and more.

So, let me ask you …

If you now believed in yourself, what would you do?  Creative L bruce-mars-585709-unsplash

It could be:

  • Writing that book
  • Giving that talk
  • Booking that trip
  • Launching that business
  • Putting up your online dating profile

Or something else?

Think about it …

And I’d love it if you’d tell me about it.

Share your aspirations in the comment box below, or email me at moira@moirashepard.com.

Whatever you’re looking to create, I know you’ve got this.

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