I had a meltdown on Zoom today

At my Zoom writing group this morning, we get to the point in our meeting when we share our intentions. This is what I write in Chat:

I still have so much fear to be healed around doing webinars. I thought doing the first one would open the floodgates to bringing out more webinars, but that hasn’t been the case. It’s activated a lot of old trauma. Please help with my intention to resolve this and move forward.

By the time I finish typing this, I’ve dissolved into tears. On camera. In front of 14 dear souls who reach out to comfort me.

Their messages appear in Chat:

“I’m holding you for resolution of old trauma and that soon you will be moving forward to success with ease.”

“You are in my heart for settling the fear.”

“You are a brave woman … this is all happening to bring you lots of gifts and good things … you can do this … we all see it.”

“Moira…my heart goes out to you. I am holding you in my prayers … for breakthrough. Thank you for trusting us with your heart.”

“I will send you the courage you already possess Remember to smile.”

Once we start our “alone together” writing time, I run to the bedroom, where I cry long and hard.

It feels good to release all the feelings bursting out of my heart.

It feels good to remember that crying is a healing and a prayer. An opening to grace.

Then I come back to the group and write this story to share with you.

Because I want you to know that we never heal alone. Help is all around you. You just the need courage to ask for it.

As long as you and I live, doubt and fear may arise when we find ourselves faced with change – whether it’s change that we choose or change that chooses us.

That’s why it can be helpful to realize that confidence is more than a feeling, more than a thought, more than a goal you may reach someday.

Confidence is a decision. And it’s one that I need to make often if I want to succeed in my life and my work. I’m choosing to be more committed to my purpose than my fear.

Confidence can never fully banish self-doubt – it’s part of the human condition. What confidence can help you to do is face your fear and keep going.

My writing friends are right: Good things await you on the other side of fear – love, fulfillment of your purpose, success, money and, perhaps most importantly, growing into the person you were born to be.

Everything you desire is on the other side of your fear, my friend.

Which is why fear and doubt are never reasons to stop moving forward. They are reasons to keep going, so you can come home to your true self. To the love you are and always have been.

I’m right there with you, my friend. If you would like to walk with me for a while, to develop the confidence you need to live the life you want, check this out.

In the meantime, please share your thoughts or feelings about confidence in the comment box below. I’d love to hear from you! Be well.

2 thoughts on “I had a meltdown on Zoom today

  1. I tuned in too late to learn of your meltdown morning. But I know for sure, that no one can achieve a certification in confidence. We would get cocky and ineffective. We will be continually challenged to keep growing. It takes a whole professional community to shape confident effective people. Today you were boosted to another plateau. Bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you, dear Nancy! I truly appreciate your compassionate words of wisdom. Love the idea of going to a new plateau today – bless you!


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